I'm as motherly as the next woman... Maybe more than some. And I love staying home with my daughter (It's a choice I made, and one I sometimes question). But I find myself in a quandry when explaining to her about work, careers and all the interesting things that are happening OUTSIDE of our home.
Today I have a meeting for a potential freelance job (first one in 5 years.) My daughter is begging to attend the meeting with me (!) Her concerns about my leaving are legion: What if I never come back? What if I start to leave home a lot? What if I do something cool and she misses it? Even a 5 year old can understand that having mommy go back to work could be a risk to her secure existance. Anything that takes me away from her (and I've only left her alone about 40 hours in 5 years) could change her whole world. But she's also curious. She's heard about this work thing, that results in this money thing, and she knows that when mommy has money, she might share the wealth, so what to hope for if you're 5, greedy, but also very dependent?
I don't want to portray work as a chore and scare her about her future, but I also don't want to act like I just got a "Get out of jail free" card handed to me and give the impression that a day out in the world is the best thing that could happen to me. I guess I'm torn, and so of course, I'm equally torn about what to convey to her. I'd like to be superwoman, excelling at work and at home, and raising a little exceller of my own. But the truth is, I have a hard time just fulfilling my stay at home mom responsibilities adequately, without adding outside work to the mix. And I'm not sure I want to work out there anymore. It's hard. The clothes are uncomfortable, and I'm not sure anyone cares about what I think like they did back in the day.
I suspect most mommies are in the same boat I'm in... and feel torn about indoctrinating their children into a world of work that will leave them little time for the people they love and less time for themselves. I'm putting a toe in the "back to work" water and I guess I'll see if I feel that a full immersion is called for. One thing I know, when I talk to my daughter about going back to work I sound a lot more confident than I feel inside, and in our conversation, working sounds like the most exciting thing in the world. Gee, I wish I COULD find a job like that!
Today I have a meeting for a potential freelance job (first one in 5 years.) My daughter is begging to attend the meeting with me (!) Her concerns about my leaving are legion: What if I never come back? What if I start to leave home a lot? What if I do something cool and she misses it? Even a 5 year old can understand that having mommy go back to work could be a risk to her secure existance. Anything that takes me away from her (and I've only left her alone about 40 hours in 5 years) could change her whole world. But she's also curious. She's heard about this work thing, that results in this money thing, and she knows that when mommy has money, she might share the wealth, so what to hope for if you're 5, greedy, but also very dependent?
I don't want to portray work as a chore and scare her about her future, but I also don't want to act like I just got a "Get out of jail free" card handed to me and give the impression that a day out in the world is the best thing that could happen to me. I guess I'm torn, and so of course, I'm equally torn about what to convey to her. I'd like to be superwoman, excelling at work and at home, and raising a little exceller of my own. But the truth is, I have a hard time just fulfilling my stay at home mom responsibilities adequately, without adding outside work to the mix. And I'm not sure I want to work out there anymore. It's hard. The clothes are uncomfortable, and I'm not sure anyone cares about what I think like they did back in the day.
I suspect most mommies are in the same boat I'm in... and feel torn about indoctrinating their children into a world of work that will leave them little time for the people they love and less time for themselves. I'm putting a toe in the "back to work" water and I guess I'll see if I feel that a full immersion is called for. One thing I know, when I talk to my daughter about going back to work I sound a lot more confident than I feel inside, and in our conversation, working sounds like the most exciting thing in the world. Gee, I wish I COULD find a job like that!
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