Hi Ho, Hi Ho, I'ts off to work I go!

I'm as motherly as the next woman... Maybe more than some. And I love staying home with my daughter (It's a choice I made, and one I sometimes question). But I find myself in a quandry when explaining to her about work, careers and all the interesting things that are happening OUTSIDE of our home.

Today I have a meeting for a potential freelance job (first one in 5 years.) My daughter is begging to attend the meeting with me (!) Her concerns about my leaving are legion: What if I never come back? What if I start to leave home a lot? What if I do something cool and she misses it? Even a 5 year old can understand that having mommy go back to work could be a risk to her secure existance. Anything that takes me away from her (and I've only left her alone about 40 hours in 5 years) could change her whole world. But she's also curious. She's heard about this work thing, that results in this money thing, and she knows that when mommy has money, she might share the wealth, so what to hope for if you're 5, greedy, but also very dependent?

I don't want to portray work as a chore and scare her about her future, but I also don't want to act like I just got a "Get out of jail free" card handed to me and give the impression that a day out in the world is the best thing that could happen to me. I guess I'm torn, and so of course, I'm equally torn about what to convey to her. I'd like to be superwoman, excelling at work and at home, and raising a little exceller of my own. But the truth is, I have a hard time just fulfilling my stay at home mom responsibilities adequately, without adding outside work to the mix. And I'm not sure I want to work out there anymore. It's hard. The clothes are uncomfortable, and I'm not sure anyone cares about what I think like they did back in the day.

I suspect most mommies are in the same boat I'm in... and feel torn about indoctrinating their children into a world of work that will leave them little time for the people they love and less time for themselves. I'm putting a toe in the "back to work" water and I guess I'll see if I feel that a full immersion is called for. One thing I know, when I talk to my daughter about going back to work I sound a lot more confident than I feel inside, and in our conversation, working sounds like the most exciting thing in the world. Gee, I wish I COULD find a job like that!

An Old Fashioned Slice of Pizza...

Ah Fifi! An old fashioned girl like myself. Why ARE women in this day and age being forced to comply with PORN fashion to determine what is or is not acceptable? PORN PORN PORN.

I miss the good old days when porn was secretive. You had to go to "that side of town." You actually worried someone would see you. I think back then folks actually spent time trying to "get some" because save for "Playboy," Porn was hard to come by... especially the "specialty" stuff.

Too bad. I now know lots of husbands who have given up on sex with their wives cause they can just hop on line and numb themselves on that which they shall never get! SAD. But those cold ladies are a topic for another time. As for me I keep mine, "...like a nice slice of New York Pizza Pie," to qoute Tina Fey. Sure I do the trim, keep it tidy for hubby, but there will be no Brazilians allowed in my lady garden!
Doone

I Am a Woman Fully Growed! Or: If You Don't Want to Attract a Pedophile, Don't Wax Your Business!

Okay, I am officially freaked out. Once again, my husband has come home with stories of "the guys" talking about their preference for, the oh, so cleverly named, "Landing Strip." What is up with this? How come every guy in America now demands that their woman imitate a Mexican Hairless?

Used to be (and not so long ago), it was perfectly okay for a woman to look like a woman. Not a pre-pubescent, Catholic schoolgirl uniform wearing, lollypop licking, "woman-child." We could strip down and look perfectly presentable without having to risk cutting ourselves with razors or burning ourselves with wax and most any man was thrilled. Now, it seems, most men expect a highly messed-with, hair free (or mostly hair free) vay jay jay or they will heave in the bedside wastebasket. When did being a normal grown woman turn into imitating Sasquatch?

I blame internet porn. All those "barely legal" sites refer to more than close to underage girls. They also implicity promise that the yayas will be bare as a baby's butt. And therein lies the rub (if you'll forgive the pun.) If the only women worth looking at on the internet are shaved within an inch of their lives, and anyone who prefers a normal woman is reduced to visiting "fetish sites," then things have certainly taken a turn for the worse. And why are women participating in this highly undignified and potentially itchy phenomenon? Any woman can tell you that shaving and waxing are both horribly uncomfortable, and no woman WANTS to follow either of these practices on her own. Women are bending to pressure here, and at the same time participating in the dumbing down of the very men they hope to attract. If the only person worth looking at is a schoolgirl, then we, as valued sexual partners, are obsolete before we reach legal age. Why would we take part in a cultural phenomenon what will lead to our own obsolescence?

When Woody Allen took off with Soon-Yi, I was as titillated as the next person. What stepfather prefers his "barely legal" stepchild to his movie star girlfriend? What kind of pervert is he, anyway? But then I started thinking about Mia Farrow, and her childish persona, and how she is given to wearing knee socks and braids, and I realized that if you don't want to attract a pedophile, you probably shouldn't talk in a baby voice. Just my two cents.

I could go on, but you probably get my drift. I, for one, will not be having my pubic area subjected to laser hair removal. My husband is actually in agreement with me. I call on other adult women to join me in a return to normalcy. Just say no to the Brazilian! Stand proud! Refuse to allow a culture gone mad to dictate your hygiene! If you don't, be prepared to lose your man to a (MUCH) younger woman (girl?)
Fifi
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